So I have a confession: I’ve become enamored by the term “bad bitch”
You know those women who walk in the club and has every dude at attention, the girls with the flawless weaves, banging dresses and tight ass bodies. Yes those girls. It was about 7 months ago I decided I want to become one. So I started losing weight, taking better care of my hair, investing in a decent collection of clothing and doing the things that i thought bad bitches do. These women made me envious of them, i seen the way my boyfriend would talk about them like i was somehow second class. I always thought my weight held me back, my weight kept me from being a bad bitch. Well, i lost the weight, got the weave brought the dress and yes from time to time, i looked and behaved like a bad bitch. It was fun, i enjoyed every minute of it. Until i realized that shit ain’t for me. I was never and will never be that woman.
Yeah I look good and I love my new body but i much rather stay at home and cuddle with someone i love than hop from dude to dude. I rather sit at home with a bowl of popcorn and watch 300 on a friday night. But i don’t eat the popcorn because i can’t be fat in the dress for the party have to wear that night. I always joke that i’m living the wrong life. maybe i’m not. I’m meant to be living in the suburbs, in a middle class town enjoying things like 5k turkey trots, family dinners, and bake sales. I enjoy taking trips to Target. While I like the male attention i get, really, i only want the attention of one guy. The guy i’ve been neglecting the most in my quest to become a bad bitch. The guy who tries to play games with me to get me to eat, the guy that i stood up because i was too busy with other things.
I believe you are born a bad bitch, its a natural attraction and attitude in your personality. The outwardly appearance is just a physical manifestation of what they already internally contain. Not saying that I plan on regaining my weight or letting myself go but i’m gonna start being true to me and stop trying to be something i’m not. Shit, I’m aishaah and i just chill.
Although Ambs and Nicki are some bad bitches :)
I guess i can allow myself 3 days of eating without remorse. All i know is i feel sick and full and i LOVE every moment of it.
1) Eat until uncomfortably full.
2) remain full for hours and complain about pains
3) the moment your food digests and room opens up, fill it some more
(Repeat whole weekend)
Expecting 5+ lb gain this weekend :(
Dieting and Gym hard as a motherfucker this week.
So apparently that fat i’ve been spending the last month trying to get rid of is sagging skin. UGH, which means all the exercise in the world won’t remove it. I refuse to live with this pouch of skin hanging from my gut.